Reading… and Thinking

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.”

– Romans 15:1-3 (NIV)

The strong should bear with those who are less strong. This just makes sense, and lots of philosophies would echo this thought. The warriors, the powerful intellects, the great artists, the strong leaders are relied upon by others. In the world at large, there is great variation in how magnanimous these strong ones are. Some hold “lesser” people in contempt, while others see it as their obligation to serve those less fortunate.

In the realm of spiritual things, clearly there should be no contempt for the weak. All of us are weak, and without Christ are helpless. So if in some way we are a little less weak than our neighbors, we should do what we can with that strength for their benefit – for it’s certain that we'll need to have someone do the same for us, in the areas where we're the weak one.

But what's this business about pleasing our neighbor? Paul says we shouldn't please ourselves, but rather should please our neighbor. (The versions agree, so apparently this is a good translation.) But pleasing men isn't what life in Christ is about! And it’s clear to anyone that you can't please everyone. It even seems flat wrong to make it a point to please the weaker person – shouldn’t moral weaknesses, for example, be confronted and resisted?

As always, context is a big help here. You need all of chapter 14 and the first section of chapter 15 to learn what Paul is getting at. But there's a big clue right in these verses, in fact the key is right here. Paul cites the example of Jesus Christ. “Look at what he did”, Paul says.

Jesus was very patient with the weak, but he never absorbed their weakness or allowed it to govern him. His thought was never to make life easier for himself, to indulge himself, to go on about his own work and leave the weaker ones behind. That's what Paul means by “not pleasing yourself”. Jesus always worked for the benefit of others. Not only did he heal them and give them the good news of eternal life, but he also challenged them, and corrected them when they were wrong. The reactions were awe, gratitude, resolve, puzzlement, disgust, anger. All of what Jesus did is encompassed in what Paul means by “pleasing others”. In other words, Jesus did not pander to others, and Paul isn’t expecting that we will either.

Jesus’ objective wasn't to be popular with the people he talked to. Rather, he gave them what they needed; sometimes they were grateful and sometimes they weren't.

The way Paul puts it is, “please your neighbor for his good, to build him up.” Not please him by flattering him, by making him feel just fine about whatever he wants. That's not for his good, and doesn't build him up. It may take a long time for him to actually be pleased that you told him, “You’re on the road to destruction because your behavior is an affront to God.” But if he eventually turns to Christ, he will be very grateful to you for caring enough about him to tell him the truth. He will be “pleased”, in the only way that really counts.